ugh… i am really pissed off… and for no good reason. well that’s a lie, but i don’t feel like getting in to it right now. i’m just venting in the hope of relieving some of this rage.

i just don’t want to be here anymore. i just want to be somewhere else, anywhere, but i’ve always lacked follow-through.

it wasn’t that big of a deal when i was younger, i just passed it off as irresponsibility or age, but i can’t do that anymore. i’m old and accountable. i had an interesting conversation with a friend a while back about our generation. it seems like a lot of the people i grew up with have done absolutely nothing with their lives. these people are not dumb, in fact they are some of the most intelligent people i’ve known, but they lack motivation or follow-through, like me. what is up with that.

maybe it’s because i have such a jaded view of the world. maybe i’m too smart for my own good. maybe i should have married my high-school sweetheart and had some kids, and work a job i hate, out of necessity. would i be any happier? probably not. the thing is… i’ve found out how the system works and i want no part of it, at least in the traditional sense.

but seriously, does this even make any sense? i feel like screaming or punching a wall or, i dunno… doing something destructive. adios.